Are you building relationships, or trying to sell?

I ask this as building relationships is something we have to master pretty quickly in our role. 

That could be as a subject matter expert who has to sell what they do, or as a salesperson who is out and about everyday selling their business. Those networks we build are vital. With each other, business owners, employees, earning their trust and confidence is what helps us thrive.

Influencing others is something we all do when selling to customers, pitching ideas, or getting approval from stakeholders. We are using our natural influencing skills to lead conversations and sometimes those conversations fall short. The problem is that what we say often isn’t enough to sway those decisions or change minds. What’s more important is who you are and more importantly who you’re talking to.  

We already know how to adapt our approach to different audiences. We start to hone these social relationship skills from birth, and we all have our own way of communicating. But it’s a skill that like any other can be developed and improved. 

Why am I talking about this? Well, mainly because it is all I have been talking about recently. I have been ruining workshops for teams, sales teams, and organisations, supporting as we all get back to normal and integrate back into society, and the workplace. One of the things that is coming up over and over is that people aren’t adapting their style anywhere near as much as they used to. 

In fact, Insights, the organisation, states that 74% of people’s personal style has changed. We are becoming less adaptive to others. This has been put down to us working differently during the pandemic and becoming a bit more focussed on ourselves rather than the external focus on others.  

To connect to the people around us effectively we need to first understand how we perceive the world and then how others perceive it. 

Our Perceptions

We all see and experience the world through our own filters, our perceptions are coloured by what we know and what we believe; by the labels that we use to describe the things we see around us every day. This belief and knowledge system we create is often called our ‘world view’.

A way for us to understand the concept of ‘world view’ is to think of it as a map. Think of attempting to arrive at a specific destination but you have been given the wrong map. There was a download error on the map you got and instead of London you have a map of New York, but it has been labelled London. You are now the only person looking at the map, no one else can see it or appreciate it. Think about how frustrating it must be as you try to navigate your way to the destination. 

If you keep hold of the wrong map, all that will happen is you will get lost quicker. Self-help books, coaching, the people around you often say to adopt a positive attitude. This can help, but if you still have the wrong map all that will happen is you will be happy while you are lost. 

One approach to look at new maps is to examine your own mental maps and avoid being too attached to your current world view. It is important to be open to change and able to understand others maps. When selling this becomes so much more important. 

Using a psychometric tool (We use Insights Discovery, there are several out there) lets us explore our unique approach to influencing others. It looks at who you are and how you show up to others. It also looks at the people that you need to influence, what you can learn about them to help you build a connection. It is important for Salespeople and, now more than ever before, to learn more about your strengths and weaknesses when you are interacting with your customers. 

If you can learn to understand your customers on a deeper level and adapt your style to their needs, then you are on to a winner. You can build stronger relationships widen your influence and even improve your sales performance.

Here is a quick way to have a think about what your preference might be. Choose all the words that you feel are representative of you: 

If you have a higher number in one of the columns this could indicate your preference for this way of working. Column 1 represents Cool Blue, Column 2 represents Fiery Red, Column 3 represents Sunshine Yellow and Column 4 represents Earth Green. 

If you are Fiery Red, who likes a fast-paced action-oriented meeting, and you are dealing with Earth Green, who likes a calm meeting where they have some time to think, this could mean that these two styles may clash. It is here that as the person leading the meeting you get the opportunity to adjust your style to the needs of your customer and build a better, stronger relationship. 

Being influential starts with you and how you choose to use your natural strengths. You can develop the knowledge you need to adapt to different circumstances, treating each individual as what they are – completely unique. If you focus on connecting more than converting your conversations will never fall short. 

By Ric Hayden

www.learningcog.com