‘I wish Holding Space existed when I needed it’

By Hansa Raja, Chief Executive of Holding Space, an award-winning East Sussex-based charity that offers parent/carer peer support to families whose children and young people are experiencing mental and/or emotional health difficulties.

My personal journey has been one of resilience and determination and it’s this journey that led me to establish Holding Space. The catalyst for creating the charity was the distinct lack of support I faced as a mum dealing with my daughter’s mental health struggles. As a parent I felt like a failure; I was meant to protect my daughter. Yet here I was with no one who could help. I couldn’t share my concerns with friends or colleagues; I felt so alone. Parenting does not come with a bible and we often feel judged. We think everyone else has got it right and are perfect parents!

In 2019, I set up a Facebook page, hoping there was somebody I could talk to … an understanding shoulder to cry on. The response was incredible, and parents started sharing their stories. It was clear that there was a critical gap in support, and I knew something had to change. Holding Space was born out of this need.

I never imagined that, almost six years later, I’d be leading a charity supporting over 1,300 families across East Sussex. But the need is clear and continues to grow. I wish Holding Space existed when I needed it.

At Holding Space we believe that the voice of parents and children is paramount and no parent should walk this journey alone and in silence.

The vision of Holding Space is a world where no parent feels they have to navigate their child’s mental health journey alone.

Our goal is to ensure that every parent and carer across East Sussex feels heard, supported, and confident in navigating their children’s emotional and mental health challenges.

Our mission is to educate, support and empower parents and ensure that they have the tools and knowledge to support their children. Early intervention and support is crucial to the mental health of future generations.

Across Sussex there are over 7,000 children and young people waiting for an assessment with the average wait time in East Sussex for an intervention being 2-3 years. The consequences of this lack of mental health support are evident in the child health profiles, with East Sussex hospital admissions for self-harm during 2023 being significantly worse than the England average and in the 25% worst percentile.

The types of issues we hear from parents are varied; from anxiety, self-harm, waiting for assessments for autism diagnosis to school struggles. The emotional and practical impact on the parents and carers, as well as other family members, can be profound. Parents feel inadequate and unsupported by statutory services as if they are to blame for their child’s condition and they feel a deep sense of despair.  Many parents are forced to give up work to care for their child, which impacts on family finances.

Supporting parents and carers is essential for the wellbeing of families and young people. When parents feel empowered, seen, listened to and connected they are better able to support their children and look after their own wellbeing. Early intervention and support is crucial and we must do more to support families and children.

I spend part of my day attending business networking events and talking to fantastic companies about the work we do and how they can get involved. Funding is a constant challenge, but we are not alone. So many charities that I talk to are in a similar position.

My passion for supporting parents and carers extends beyond the charity sector. I also run a consultancy business that offers workshops to businesses on how to ‘Support parents and carers in the workplace’. As a single mum, I know firsthand the struggles of balancing work and caregiving. When my daughter was in crisis, I had no choice but to leave my job to support her.

While my employer at the time was understanding, there were moments I feared for my job. I eventually realised that balancing work with the emotional strain of supporting my daughter became overwhelming. This experience highlighted the urgent need for a change in workplace culture – a need for better understanding and support for employees managing personal and family crises. It is essential that businesses recognise these challenges to reduce absenteeism, retain skilled staff, and provide a supportive environment that enables working parents to thrive.

For more information on working with Hansa, the workshops or the charity:

hansa@holdingspace.org.uk

hansa@hansaraja-consultancy.co.uk

www.linkedin.com/in/hansa-raja