Miss Bossy, the Leader

As a business development and marketing manager, I have spent a lot of time working and networking with some of Sussex’s leading business women. Having the opportunity to listen, observe and learn from such leaders has been very empowering.

One of the reasons I enjoy working on women in business initiatives, is that it provides me with a professional yet somewhat informal opportunity to be surrounded by ‘bossy’ (leaders) women, in an unapologetic environment.

Of course not all women are ‘bossy’ nor is every leader the same. All leaders have their own style; drawing from different experiences and perspectives on what qualities make them effective in leadership. Nevertheless, traditional leadership traits can consist of ambition, assertiveness, determination, confidence and at times, bossiness. 

However, women are not always praised for such leadership qualities and may feel vulnerable to scrutiny when doing so. When we explore leadership, women are still a minority in most sectors including corporate, non-profit, government, medicine, religion, education and so on. 

There is no doubt that women have made history in the workplace but with approximately 6.3% of UK firms being run by a female chief executive, there is still room for progress.

When it comes to competition, most of us would expect that regardless of gender, the best person should get the job. But as women continue to strive for equal opportunities in the workplace, there is evidence to suggest that gender bias still exists.

The term bossy tends to be a word typically attributed to women who take charge or as the classic Little Miss Bossy book suggests, like to order people around. It’s a vague term that can be commonly associated with a woman who upholds strong leadership skills. As played out in the story tale, Little Miss Bossy’s character is problematic and as a result, many women have been taught from a young age not to be bossy.

If a woman’s attitude is reduced to a problem, it can ultimately make her question or even disregard their leadership potential. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and Girls Scouts of USA CEO, Anna Maria Chavez set up a ‘Ban Bossy’ campaign to encourage more leadership in women by banning the word bossy. The campaign criticises the use of the word bossy to be stigmatising and discouraging women from positions of leadership. As Sandberg would say, “That girl is not bossy. She has executive leadership skills.”

Psychologist Adam Grant suggested that one of the issues that disguises a Miss Bossy from a leader is power and status. According to Grant, we react differently when power is executed by high status people and low status people. When a woman shows assertiveness, her attitude may be perceived as ‘bossy’ due to her status. Therefore at times, female leaders have to be careful to not overstep their status or position.

This issue becomes more apparent when we explore race. In Michelle Obama’s lead selling book ‘Becoming’, the former First Lady speaks about her experiences of being associated with the ‘angry black women’ stereotype. “I was female, black, and strong, which to certain people, maintaining a certain mindset, translated only to ‘angry’…I was now starting to actually feel a bit angry”.

More recently, the Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle was labelled by some sources as ‘bossy’ ‘and ‘passive aggressive’ but with little detail to the particulars of her actions and behaviours. According to a range of reports, Meghan even had an ‘aggressive’ legal team fighting her corner.

The language we use to describe women and their professional performance, can not only impact confidence but also career progression and future goals. It’s important that we consider what terms we use to empower those we work with in order to get the best results for business.

As some of the most strongest and successful women continue to highlight, taking ownership of your bossy, assertive self can be the greatest way to break down those glass ceilings. It takes courage to step out of your social boundaries and take action to rise to your fullest potential.

Women should not be discouraged from being bossy and assertive. By changing perceptions and language, we can collaboratively make steps towards removing gender bias structures. The ‘Miss Bossy’ traits may not really be reflective of a villain, but rather a credit to creating more balance in status and power; supporting women to negotiate equal pay as well as gain access to positions that will enhance better representation in key fields. 

By Stephanie Prior