‘Of All Deceivers Fear Most Thyself’ Søren Kirkegaard

Many people ponder the context of Søren Kirkegaard’s famous quote.

In order to become increasingly aware, one of the primary things that we must be willing to do is to explore our true selves; us as we really are.

Though this is such an exciting journey and the most powerful that we can ever embark upon, it is simultaneously traumatic and must be prioritised in the face of the constant temptation to stop altogether.

As we discover truths that are unpalatable about ourselves, we face an enormous battle if we are not to pander to our overwhelming ego-seeking to constantly drag us from reality and back into the comfort of our complacent individualism.

Our entire modern culture is structured to distract us from looking at who we really are and the difficult work of our inner journey, because such work requires the two things that we prioritise least: time and reflection.

Furthermore, humans who are self-aware and understand who they really are, will not buy and desire things relentlessly or give their time solely to the pursuit of success. 

Consequently, this revelation is simply incompatible with what our society requires of us to maintain its ravenous appetite for our constant spending.

Capitalism requires the sacrifice of our souls for its relentless drive towards ‘growth’ and we offer them gladly.

We frantically pursue security and wealth, and yet the self-attention and nurture that we need most evade us. Modern life simply steals them from us, and we are not self-aware enough to miss them or to get them back. 

A good way for us to understand and measure this phenomenon is to ask ourselves when we last had an hour alone, undistracted and quiet, in which we had the opportunity and peace to think about ourselves and how we are doing. 

We become addicted to filling our free time with more ‘things’ and spend longer at work or on our phones, feeling that we are ‘connected’ when the most crucial person to connect to and invest in, ourselves, is left alone and slowly withers away.

This is why children are infinitely more alive and well than us – more capable of happiness and joy than adults; because their inner life and self-communion has not yet had time to be extinguished. 

As they grow older and the overwhelming emptiness of adulthood in a materialist culture is forced upon them, they develop the emptiness that we know only too well. 

Actually, the greatest and most valuable of all gifts we could possibly give to our children is to daily exemplify a person who honestly knows themselves and in that knowledge is able to consistently demonstrate self-love, self-accountability and self-nurture. 

When I work with parents around this phenomenon and think about myself as a father, I witness the most profound truth: We are aware enough to know that this is the most important thing of all but we are rendered helpless to teach it despite our desire and longing to do so.

Instead, we know that we are unable to teach it because we don’t practice it.

We do not have it within ourselves and it can only be instilled by example.

So it is better to suppress what we really know and, in order to quieten our guilt, we give our children far too many things and thus distract them. 

The internet, television and the relentless demands of our busy lives mean that we are constantly bombarded by information, products and images that monopolise our attention.

Individualism and materialism only need appeal to our hunger: our ravenous desire to feel better about ourselves driven by the subconscious knowledge of our true fragility. 

The journey of inner discovery is at best sporadic and is nearly always only considered in the most extreme conditions of personal duress, precipitated through conditions such as personal crisis of some kind: the breakdown of a relationship, illness, bereavement, alcoholism, depression or psychological breakdown. This is because these occurrences tend to simply expose our true vulnerability and us as we really are and force us to address the reality of our human fragility and brokenness.

True awareness, despite its certain pain and inherent suffering, is a wonderful journey containing endless reward, if only we can continue in our bravery and willingness to negotiate that which is yet to be discovered within.

We contain both the propensity for tremendous good, and for great evil.

In our deepest parts, we are simultaneously both light and dark, truthful and self-deceiving, glorious and yet vulnerable.

The more that we run from facing such evil and pretending that it does not live in us, the more we give it overwhelming power.

We are lovely; in fact, we can be more supremely beautiful than most of us have ever dared believe even in our wildest imaginings.

But the key to the unlocking of this beauty is actually found only in first exposing and then facing the very real darkness that lives in part of our souls.

This knowledge can not really be taught. It can only be discovered; accepted within – and then lived out.

This is Awareness.

It is in this cumulative and lifelong humility that such people find their limitless ability to be fruitful and to do real good.

Isn’t this a wonderful paradox! 

John Richards has spent over 20 years working in Crisis Intervention with a vast range of clients and organisations as a Speaker, Writer and Consultant specialising in Awareness and Spiritual Development.

He is a founding Director of The Inspiration Programme and, with his co-directors explorer Neil Laughton and wildlife trails leader Angus Wingfield, leads adventure retreats in wild places around the world including Tibet, The Himalayas, the Mediterranean coast and South Africa.

His first book, about Awareness, Change, Relationships and Fruitfulness, was published by EyeWear in the UK in October 2018.

Find out more: 

www.awarenesschange.com