A kinder, clearer path through separation: why Good Divorce Week matters

Good Divorce Week (week beginning Monday 10 November 2025) is a timely reminder that, even in the toughest moments, there is a better way to separate.

As a member of Resolution, which is a community of over 6,500 family justice professionals committed to reducing conflict, I follow a Code of Practice that puts children’s welfare, clear communication and problem-solving at the heart of everything I do. So, although we promote this way of working once a year; it’s how I practise, day in and day out.

This year, the theme is about demonstrating our commitment to that Code and the constructive role we play in helping families. In plain terms, it means we prioritise calm over confrontation. It means explaining options clearly and early, looking for agreements wherever possible, and keeping court as a last resort rather than a first step. For many families, that approach lowers the temperature, shortens the journey, and protects relationships that will continue long after legal processes end, especially where children are involved.

Why does this matter so much right now?

Our approach matters because the family courts are under immense pressure.  A recent parliamentary report highlights that private law cases (disputes about arrangements for children) took on average 41 weeks to be concluded through the Court system in 2024, up from 26 weeks in 2018.   Even where there have been small improvements this year, timings remain far above pre-pandemic levels. The delay isn’t just a statistic; for families it means months of uncertainty, heightened anxiety and additional cost. Locally in East Sussex, everyone working in and around the courts is doing their level best, but the system is stretched.

At the same time, demand remains consistently high. Ministry of Justice data shows that tens of thousands of family cases are started each quarter, equating to well over a thousand new matters on a typical working day across England and Wales. The average length of those cases has increased by 36% since 2018.  Against that backdrop, it’s clear that delays won’t meaningfully reduce without better resourcing and smarter ways to help couples earlier.

That’s why, alongside fellow Resolution members, I’m supporting the need for there to be greater investment in early legal information and advice. When people understand their choices at the outset, they are far more likely to take a constructive route: mediation, solicitor-led negotiation or arbitration rather than becoming trapped in lengthy, adversarial proceedings. Early guidance can de-escalate conflict, narrow the issues and keep decision-making closer to the family. It also protects court time for the cases that truly need judicial determination.

What does a constructive approach look like in practice?

• Listening first. Every family is different. I start by understanding my client’s priorities, their children’s needs, their finances and their living arrangements so advice is tailored rather than “one size fits all”.

• Explaining options early. From mediation to private FDRs (a form of early neutral evaluation) and negotiated settlements, I map the routes available, the likely costs and timescales, and when court may still be necessary.

• Keeping children central. The Code of Practice asks us to consider the needs of the whole family, especially the best interests of children. That means helping parents separate well, reducing conflict around handovers, and building parenting plans that actually work day-to-day.

• Plain language, clear steps. Legal processes can feel overwhelming. I make sure my clients know what will happen next and why, using plain English and realistic timeframes.

• Problem-solving mindset. I focus on outcomes: where everyone will live, how bills will be paid, how holidays and special occasions will be shared, and how to future-proof arrangements as children grow.

Good Divorce Week is also an opportunity to challenge the idea that a “good divorce” means everything is easy.  It doesn’t. Separation is emotionally taxing, and moments of disagreement are normal.  What we can do is change the way we manage those moments: less heat, more calm consideration. When couples feel heard and informed, they make better decisions; decisions which feel fair, practical and durable.

For separating couples in Sussex considering their next step, here are some practical pointers:

1. Get early legal advice.
A short, structured meeting with a Resolution solicitor can clarify your options, explain the process and give you an estimate of costs.

2. Keep children out of the conflict.
Use parenting apps or a designated email for logistics. Agree simple ground rules for communication.

3. Focus on the future.
It’s natural to look back, but settlement is about creating workable arrangements for the months and years ahead.

4. Be open to creative solutions.
Sometimes the best outcome is not the one you first imagined, flexibility often unlocks agreement.

If you’re navigating separation, you don’t have to do it alone. I am proud to stand with colleagues across Sussex during Good Divorce Week to show that we are here to support you in a way that is calm, constructive and child-focused, and which gives families the best chance of moving forward with dignity.

By Brigitte Shakespeare

Brigitte Shakespeare is a Family Law Consultant Solicitor at Cognitive Law, helping clients across Sussex and beyond to separate well and make child-centred, workable arrangements.

Contact Brigitte on Brigitte.shakespeare@cognitivelaw.co.uk